That was quick

The people in Indianapolis just needed some tactical help. Nice, simple, easy, ethical tactical help. God, I hate this job sometimes.

Anyway, nothing of note happened here. I talked to the boss for literally 40 minutes, told them where they should partition their resources for maximum efficiency, and got a hearty thank you for my work.

Anyway, I've got one town left, and then it's back to Chicago. The higher-ups still haven't gotten back to me about that situation, and I really don't want to go back there. Hopefully this next job will be a long, easy, and ethical one.

- Have a Nice Day

Logansport

It really isn't a "small town," so to speak, but after Chicago, anything feels small. And I get some bad vibes from small towns.

These guys apparently call themselves "The Gobblers." They've got a semi-run-down shack with a sign on it and everything. After talking with the employees for a bit, I got the notion that they were having numbers issues, as none of them seemed very adept at math. This notion was verified when I talked with their boss, a squat, pudgy lady whose office smelled too much like alcohol for my liking. 

What she gave me was one of the worst numbers assignments in the lot. I don't really want to go into specifics, but it's not exactly ethical and it involves a population sweep. It shouldn’t freak me out as bad as it does, as it’s essential to the organization, but I could never stomach these particular assignments.

Anyway, the next day I took a ride with the boss and her "chauffeur." He was a young kid, with short, brown hair, glasses, green t-shirt, jeans. In any other context he would have been the perfect example of an invisible high schooler. Except he looked like he had already seen a war and was working as a driver for a group that deals with monstrosities. I really felt sorry for him.

The population sweep we did was simple enough. Drive around town and count. Something even the less intelligently gifted among them could accomplish. But I had the feeling they weren't counting right, or just not counting enough. And the kid looked like a fish out of water when it came to this. He kept looking in all the wrong spots. I began to have the sinking feeling that he was new to everything.

Once the sweep was over, I compared notes with the boss and gave her tips on how to count more efficiently. I also decided to explain the process to the kid, since it's better that he hear it from an outsider rather than one of the other hooligans. I don't think he took it well, to be honest, and I don't think the boss could give a fuck about him. She just sort of left him outside while he freaked out.

I wish I could have stayed and helped the kid adjust, but I've got two more cities to visit before heading back to Chicago, and I'm already halfway to the projected finish time, so I've got to pick up the pace. Maybe the kid will get lucky and snag a transfer before he's roughed up too bad. One can only hope.

- Have a Nice Day

Chicago

When I arrived in the city, I was greeted by a short-ish man in what must have been a pinstripe suit, flanked by two scruffy looking gentlemen. I was greeted by the boss of the outpost that requested my aid.

This has never been a good sign, in my experience.

He also didn't say a word about the job at all on the ride to the outpost. He kept talking about stupid, mundane things like the weather, and the latest game of whatever sport is popular now, and a movie he and his cronies saw that week.

Again, this has never been followed by a good assignment.

And I was not at all disappointed when we pulled up to the building, walked inside, wound up in a small room with a map of Chicago with pins covering the entire damn thing, and he pulled out what might be the shittiest job I've ever been offered.

He wanted me to cull the Chicago Timberwolves.

THE CHICAGO TIMBERWOLVES.

I'm assuming the pins on his map were suspected locations of Timberwolf Dens, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he did not represent more than 30% of the Timberwolf activity on that map. He wants me to eliminate what is probably one of the biggest network of Archangel proxies in America off the face of Chicago.

I seriously had to sit there and explain to the idiot exactly how many ways that idea was horrible. First of all, you'd have to have an army to even think of doing something on this scale. Secondly, because we don't exactly have the means to pull together a sizable army to take over Chicago, we'd have to resort to taking out individuals or small groups, which are going to be replaced almost as quickly as we can off them. Thirdly, there is no scenario in which we can do this without alerting the media of half the civilized countries in the world, which is something we don't want.

Of course he didn't listen to a word I said.

So what I've done is I've elected to ignore him for as long as I can. I've got the Indiana jobs to run, and I can try reasoning with his superiors in the meantime. Perhaps they are sane and logical people.

So yeah, on the road again, traveling to some small town in Indiana. Whatever they've got, it certainly can't be worse than what Chicago wants me to do.

- Have a Nice Day

A New Job

So after fighting with me over the lack of personal detail I'm putting up on this thing, my bosses finally caved and handed me my next assignment.

It looks like I’m heading to Indiana. All of Indiana.

I'll get a week or so to travel over the state, visit a bunch of outposts, and work out a bunch of little issues they’re all having.

Not exactly the best of jobs, especially since I’ll have to stop in Chicago, Illinois first. I can only imagine what “little” problems they might be having.

- Have a Nice Day

Bosses Contacted Me

They want me to explain my tagline.

How about no? It’s a thing I put at the end of my posts. That’s all you get to know.

- Have a Nice Day

"Introduction Post"

That’s what the bosses want in these first few posts, which is a really horrible thing to make me do.

Hello, world! I’m The Advisor. I have no real name anymore, as the last person who knew it died a while ago. I work for an organization that you may or may not have heard of, and I’m certainly not going to help you learn of it if you don’t already know of it.

I guess what I can tell you is what my job entails, since that’s apparently what this blog covers.

First, I’m what my title implies, I’m an advisor. I go all around the country and help associates and employees with their issues. I’ve done everything from helping with accounting to organizing full scale battles. They really don’t care what I help with, so long as I’m able to help.

Secondly, I’m a hunter of sorts. There are some really, really terrible things out there, and as such, it’s only natural that some people flock to them. For aid, for salvation, for protection, for all sorts of reasons. Anyway, what I do is I occasionally hunt and kill those people. Usually this coincides with my “advising” in that I’m helping a branch out by culling the local crazies, so that they can do their job better, whatever that might mean for them.

And now I have to keep up a blog as well. Fun.

- Have a Nice Day

Good Morning

I got promoted today. 

This doesn’t really mean all that much to me, as I haven’t moved up, but rather off to the side. You see, instead of being promoted to a manager position or an administrative position, I get to add “reporter” to my list of duties. Or whatever they’re calling it now. They decided against simple “blogger” ages ago.

They also decided that my last spat at blogging was so good that it needed to be part of my job. 

Shows what they know.

They’ve also given me a week to make this thing, which is weird given that it took me literally three seconds to set up.

I guess this means I get a week off. Might as well enjoy the free time.

- Have a Nice Day